Faith and Family / Sean Gallagher

Parents and children are called to journey together toward heaven

Four of my five sons are close to or are now living the beginnings of their adult lives. Each is taking his own path, which they are feeling their way along from month to month and year to year.

It’s a special time for my wife Cindy and me. We’re beginning to see at least the beginnings of the outcome of the formation in the faith and in our common humanity that we gave our boys in all of the little ins and outs of the life we’ve shared as a family from day to day.

We know that the outcomes that we’re seeing now aren’t necessarily permanent. On the one hand, we shouldn’t presume that encouraging signs we might see in our sons will always keep going in a positive direction. On the other hand, our Lord gives us grace to have a real and concrete hope for our sons who might be further away from what we truly believe is for their good in parts of their lives.

At the same time, we have to remember that the journey of our sons and, indeed, of Cindy and me also, can end at any moment. That’s why we pray for each other and our boys every day, that God would give all of us the grace to live each day according to his will for us.

Jefferson and Alison Crowther were convinced that they witnessed the heartbreaking end of their son Welles’ journey when they saw live on TV the south tower of the World Trade Center in New York collapse on Sept. 11, 2001. Welles, a 1999 graduate of Boston College worked as a stock trader on the 104th floor of that building.

His remains were found on March 19, 2002. Two months later, an article in the New York Times retold stories of survivors from the south tower. One recalled a young man wearing a red bandana caring for many injured people on the 78th floor and leading groups of them to safety down the only usable stairwell in that section of the building.

Welles’ parents thought of their son when reading the story because of the habit he had from his childhood of always keeping a red bandana with him and wearing it when playing hockey or lacrosse.

They sent a photo of Welles to survivors who confirmed that it was their son who had saved their lives. It was eventually learned that he had rescued as many as 12 people that day, going back up the staircase to help more people after he could have escaped the tower with those that he had already saved.

In Jefferson’s words, he and Alison saw in the way in which their son died “the purest form of compassion and love” and an embodiment of Christ’s words in Jn 15:13, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Now 25 years after 9/11, Welles’ parents remain heartbroken at the loss of their son. But they also have an awe-filled gratitude for coming to know of the noble and selfless way that he lived out the final moments of his life. (You can watch ESPN’s powerful retelling of the story of Welles and his parents here: tinyurl.com/Welles9-11.)

Parents living out their calling from God would want their children to live such lives of heroic virtue, even if it would be in more ordinary circumstances than those faced by Welles.

Parents are called by God to raise the children with which he blesses them so that, with the help of grace, they can ultimately become saints, giving thanks and praise to God forever in heaven.

That’s the destination of the journey of all parents and children. It’s a journey often marked by rugged peaks and dark valleys in which we need each other’s help and the aid of God’s grace to reach our heavenly homeland.

So, parents and children, let’s redouble our efforts at praying for each other and other families and in giving each other encouragement along our way to heaven. †