More than wins, high school coaches strive to make an impact on players’ lives
As the boys’ cross-country coach at Roncalli High School in Indianapolis, Jeff Buckley (fifth from the left) encourages his seniors to take the lead in prayer sessions at the end of practices. Here he poses with this year’s seniors, Joey McCoy, left, Trent Lamarca, Cliff Lamarca, Evan Wright, Zeke Littell, Will Lewis and Thomas Mallers. (Photo by John Shaughnessy)
By John Shaughnessy
The moment has stayed with Jeff Buckley for years now, one of those defining moments for a high school coach that gets to the heart of why a person dedicates so much of his or her life to young people.
It was a moment far beyond the focus of winning and losing for Buckley, the boys’ cross-country coach at Roncalli High School in Indianapolis.
Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Buckley’s mother-in-law Carol Cunningham died of a heart attack—a time of heartbreak for her family, including Buckley’s wife, Linda.
As the calls and sympathy cards poured in for Linda—a middle school teacher at the time at St. Jude School in Indianapolis— there also came a touching visit.
“Two days later, five of my runners showed up on our front porch with flowers for their former middle school teacher,” Buckley recalls. “Once we were able to meet as a team again, they often prayed for Linda during our team’s student-led prayers.”
The team-focused prayers are the favorite part of coaching for Buckley, who is in his 15th year at Roncalli, including the past 12 as the head coach of the boys’ team.
“Many years ago, we began assigning each senior one week to lead our prayer at the conclusion of practice,” Buckley says. “Standard prayers are not allowed. To witness the effort and depth of the thinking that these kids put into this is so inspiring.
“Teenage boys, by nature, rarely look past the end of their nose. As a coach, I remind them to be grateful and to appreciate their families. Recently, our senior leader mentioned ‘our families’ in his prayer. We have had daily intentions lasting all season for relatives fighting cancer or high-risk pregnancies. More deaths of aunts or uncles than I care to count.”
That emphasis on prayer leads to a primary goal for Buckley.
“My focus as a coach is to enhance each runner’s personal relationship with Jesus. Runners often train alone, and it provides time for reflection and prayer. ‘He is always with you’ is a saying they hear often.”
‘Being a presence in the lives of young women’
From her time as an athlete growing up, Emma Toney-Rogan knows the impact that a coach can have on someone’s life.
That’s why she strives to be a positive influence in the lives of the teenaged girls she coaches on the volleyball team at Seton Catholic Jr./Sr. High School in Richmond.
“The most important and enjoyable part of coaching for me is being a presence in the lives of young women while they are navigating growing up,” says Toney-Rogan.
“I get to stay connected to my own inner child while helping them reach their individual potential.”
She tries not to take the power of that connection for granted.
“Every time I hear ‘Coach Emma’ called from a prior player, I am reminded of the impact I have. I can remember many coaches I had through the years, and it’s a genuine honor to think of myself being held in the hearts of my players that same way.”
A burning goal, a life-changing calling
Nearly every high school coach has a competitive streak, and walking off a field, court or course after leading a team to a win is always a burning, primary goal.
That’s true for Daniel McDonald, head coach of the football team at Our Lady of Providence High School in Clarksville. He led the team to Indiana’s Class 1A state championship in 2024.
Still, similar to many high school coaches, McDonald also keeps an important, long-term goal in mind.
“My staff and I coach hard,” he says. “We are intense, and we coach the game to win on Friday nights. But we also understand our calling to use football to build young men.
“When Providence hired me, one of the first things I established was our program’s core values: character first, team before self, and relentless effort. I knew that not only implementing these values would pay off on the football field, but also that ingraining these values in my players would help mold them into faithful Catholics, great citizens, great husbands, great fathers and great employees or employers.”
McDonald believes that everything that happens on a football field becomes a life lesson.
“When we face adversity on the football field, we learn to strive through it and prevail,” he says. “When we are asked to sacrifice our own individual wants and desires for the benefit of the team—such as changing positions—it prepares us to sacrifice for our wives and kids when we get older. When we do what is right, even when it isn’t popular, we learn to become strong, character-driven, Catholic men.”
At the same time, McDonald has continued traditions from former head coach Larry Denison—traditions that welcome the players’ families as part of Providence’s football program.
Two of the best traditions involve seniors and their parents.
“The Senior Dads’ Jersey ceremony is a ceremony that involves my coaching staff, the seniors, their dads and me,” the head coach says. “It is an opportunity for each dad to present his son’s senior jersey to him for his final year as a football player at Providence. In the process of giving his son his jersey, each dad speaks in front of the group for a few minutes about his son.
“Usually, these speeches reflect on the player’s football career, what Providence football has meant to the family, faith formation, funny stories about the player, and how proud the dad is of his son.”
Emotion also marks a ceremony involving the seniors and their moms.
“The Senior Moms’ ceremony is a gathering of the seniors, their moms and me,” McDonald notes. “We all gather in the chapel, and I ask each player to write a letter to his mom in which he shows gratitude to his mom for the sacrifices she has made and the love she has given over the course of his life and football career.”
Both ceremonies reflect the emphasis on family that McDonald strives to create.
“I have always felt it important to build a family culture and give players and their families memories that are not necessarily tied to the actual on-field performance, but contribute to the Providence football experience.”
A bond rooted in trust and vulnerability
As the head coach of the girls’ volleyball team of Cardinal Ritter High School in Indianapolis, Lacee Hunter strives to help her players develop traits that will last a lifetime not just a season.
“The thing I enjoy most about coaching is seeing hard work come to fruition,” Hunter says. “Teaching the importance of hard work, confidence, training and mental toughness with teenage girls is an art. And there is no greater joy than to see them succeed, knowing how hard they worked to get there.
“There is a bond between the girls and myself that comes with their vulnerability and trust in how I lead them. Even if they don’t win, they still are winners as they learn and practice how to conquer the complications of self-reflection, teamwork and competition.
“These are character-building skills that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.” †
