Guest Column / Richard Etienne

On your list, prioritize the needs of others as well as your own needs

I have become painfully aware in recent years how easy it is to be focused more on sundry activities than on those tasks that meet the real needs of people around me.

I am a type A personality and that means lots of lists of to-dos that “need” to be completed.

But not all tasks are as immediate or important as other ones. Nor are many of the tasks on my list going to significantly benefit others around me. Now before you start “hating” on me, let me ask you a few questions.

Do you spend any time looking for clothing, cars, recipes, hairstyles, fashions, hunting equipment, golfing paraphernalia, whether in the “brick and mortar” world or on the internet?

Is it always a reasonable amount of time or do you find yourself going down rabbit holes (or vortexes as I call them) that take much more of your precious time than you had originally budgeted?

Do you, like myself, make lists of all of the tasks that need to be completed in the day (or over much longer time frames)?

My sister-in-law reminded me recently that there is always going to be “something else” that needs to be done.

Time is finite, and it limits what can be achieved each day. There will always be more tasks than time allows.

My spiritual director often repeated that we are human beings, not human doings.

And in the Gospel of Matthew, it says, “So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear? (Mt 6:31). Our Father knows what we need and will provide in abundance.

So where is all of this going?

Does one of the tasks that you list ever include just sitting quietly and listening for messages from the Holy Spirit? Do you consciously see that some of these tasks that need to be attended to each day are for the benefit of others as well as for your self-care?

For example, is there someone who needs a call or a text from you today? Is there a person or family who could use a meal because of a recent birth, surgery or death in their home? Is the Holy Spirit urging you to take some other action today that could truly impact another person’s life?

Maybe someone just needs a photo from you with the simple message, “I thought of you when I saw this.”

I need to be reminded regularly that my focus should be on people more frequently than things, and I will only have a strong prayer life if I prioritize my personal and communal prayer time.

When you step back and survey your own lists, how is this balance of personal and other centered tasks reflected in your planning process?
 

(Richard Etienne has a degree in theology from Saint Meinrad Seminary and School of Theology in St. Meinrad and resides in Newburgh, Ind.) †