Knowing the line between heartbreak and hope, a coach strives to bring joy to kids

By John Shaughnessy

In his 23 years in law enforcement, Jeff Durm learned that life can sometimes come down to sudden moments and choices that can end in heartbreak or hope.

Seeing so much heartbreak as a member of the Marion County Sheriff’s Department, Durm often tried to balance the scales with an emphasis on hope.

Sometimes that approach included helping young people out of trouble and in the right direction. Other times, he was called into intense incidents involving someone with a mental health issue, knowing his calm demeanor could help defuse a potentially volatile situation.

And there was the time when a heartbreaking reality involving a young mother led him to adopt her child—one of the two of his four children that he adopted.

For 23 years and counting, Durm has also brought that approach of hope and difference-making to the way he has coached football and basketball teams at Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ Parish in Indianapolis. It’s an approach that recently led the archdiocese’s Catholic Youth Organization to award Durm the St. John Bosco Medal, the highest honor the organization gives a volunteer.

In nominating him for the award, a fellow parishioner noted, “Jeff holds a special place in our parish. His desire to make our community better is remarkable. While investing in our children and while pushing them to be better, he does it all while instilling the importance of faith in everything he does.”

Those words and the St. John Bosco Medal continue to have an impact on Durm.

“It’s pretty emotional, to be honest with you. I’m proud of it,” he says. “I’ve been in Nativity for 35 years. Whatever I can do to help, I will.”

Part of that help flows from Buck Creek Winery, the Indianapolis winery he has owned and run for the past 20 years, after his retirement from the sheriff’s department. Durm donates sacramental wine to the parish. Still, the football program at the parish is where he has poured out his passion.

“When I started, we didn’t even have a third- and fourth-grade team at Nativity,” he says. “I asked if we could organize it.”

He continued coaching football with that age group for more than 20 years, before stepping aside two years ago.

“I just always loved that age group. The kids are so open-eyed, and they want to learn. They just listen to everything you have to say.

“I really concentrated on them being a team and being part of a whole instead of an individual. It’s just very gratifying to see someone who’s never done it gain confidence, enjoy themselves and be part of a team.”

Still, no one may savor the joy of being connected to a team more than Durm, who still coaches basketball at the parish.

“As a parishioner, what I love most about CYO is not only do you get to know the boys, but you also get to know their families,” he says. “I’ve been at Nativity for 35 years, and you don’t know who a lot of these younger families are. This was a blessing for me because I was able to stay in touch with more people at Nativity, and that’s very rewarding for me.”

So is hearing from former players.

“Adults will come up to me and say, ‘Hey, Coach, you coached me when I was in third and fourth grade.’ Some of these kids are in their 30s now. They change so much from when they were 9 and 10,” he says with a laugh.

He pauses before adding, with a touch of emotion, “One parent told me, ‘My son is playing college football right now, and it all started with you.’ ”

The emotion stays as he shares what the CYO means to him and why it’s important for him to be involved in it.

“CYO is the best—absolutely the best because of the tie-in with Catholicism,” he says. “For me, it’s all part of our faith—the time, the talent and the treasure. It’s part of what we all should do as Catholics. I just feel very blessed to contribute in any way I can.” †

Related story: CYO recognition highlights volunteer efforts of adults and youths