The gift of family across the generations bonds Americans

Ginny Maher, left, poses with her mother, Mary Gin, right. (Submitted Photo)

(Editor’s note: This story is a shortened version of the original one that appeared in The Criterion on May 2, 2025.)

By John Shaughnessy

In the American experience, one of the constants that connects different generations is the importance of family in the good times and the tough times.

Families celebrate each other. They make sacrifices for one another. They come together in moments of heartbreak. And they do it all from a foundation of love.

Ginny Maher has witnessed all these qualities in the lives of her parents, Gan and Mary Gin.

“My mother learned resilience at a young age,” says Maher, a member of SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis. “Born during the Great Depression, Mom was the youngest of eight children, growing up on a farm. Her older brother, Lawrence, was killed in World War II when she was 13 years old. A year later, her mother died of pancreatic cancer.”

Later, there were tough times of a different kind when she married a man of Chinese descent whom she met at the restaurant where she worked as a waitress and he as a cook.

“In 1955, interracial marriages were not initially accepted by friends or relatives,” Maher says about her parents’ wedding. “In time, of course, my wonderful dad diffused those biases.”

For Gin, one of the many great blessings of her marriage to her husband was that she had found someone who shared her approach to life.

“There was always room for someone else,” says Gin, a member of St. Barnabas Parish in Indianapolis. “We could always accommodate something that needed to be taken care of. We didn’t put us first. It was the kids, family and friends.”

That approach shined through in remarkable ways for the couple, including opening their home for relatives, even though it was already filled with their nine children.

“Our parents sponsored dad’s brother’s family of five, who arrived from China to the U.S.A. in need of temporary housing. Mom and Dad opened a bedroom in our home for their use. They just did it,” says Maher about the family’s three-bedroom, 1 ½ bathroom house.

“When my Chinese grandma’s cancer returned and she became terminally ill, Mom converted our dining room into a hospice area. We cared for her at home, where she spent her final days on Earth.

“When Mom’s older sister also experienced the diagnosis of terminal cancer, Mom converted a room for her care, allowing her to be surrounded by family before she passed.

“When Dad experienced a neuromuscular disease that in three years took away his ability to swallow, talk and walk, after 52 years of marriage, she cared for him at home, too. We said goodbye to him in the living room of their southside home in the company of family members.”

Through it all, the couple sent their nine children to a Catholic grade school and high schools. The couple’s approach of putting others first also extended to neighbors as they shared meals and holiday gifts with them.

For Gin, her philosophy toward addressing life’s challenges all comes down to, “Just do it.”

“I had great parents,” Gin says. “They always taught us to look at things, make a decision and go forward with it. There are a lot of things I had to make decisions on quickly. I’m sure my faith had a lot to do with this.”

So has the emphasis on the importance of family.

“As you grow older, you know what is important in life,” Gin says. “I think the family core needs to be strengthened very much.” †

 

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