Decision to send son to Roncalli leads to family’s embrace of the faith

Jack, Kevin, Diane, Dean and Nora Stafford smile in St. Jude Church in Indianapolis prior to the Easter Vigil Mass there on April 4. (Submitted photo)

By Natalie Hoefer

Kevin Stafford was baptized and raised as a Catholic, but had never worshiped at an Easter Vigil Mass until the one celebrated at St. Jude Church in Indianapolis on April 4.

Overall, he found it “impactful.”

But most moving for him was witnessing his wife Diane and their children Jack, 16, Nora, 14 at the time, and Dean, 12 at the time, as they were welcomed into the full communion of the Church.

“Our family was kind of center stage a little bit,” he says with a hint of joyful pride. “They were baptized, confirmed and received [their first] Eucharist all in one swoop.”

The moment stems from a decision made two years ago when Jack decided to attend Roncalli High School in Indianapolis. That choice launched the family’s faith journey—although they didn’t know it at the time.

‘I wanted to participate like them’

The kids attended public schools in Perry Township on Indianapolis’ south side. But considering his next step after eighth grade, Jack wasn’t sure a large public high school was the right path for him.

Roncalli is also on the south side of the city and has a smaller student body. Kevin and Diane “heard good reports” about it, and Diane liked the school’s service component, having been raised in a family that valued “doing what is right and serving others,” she says.

And Roncalli might seem a natural choice, given Kevin’s Catholic upbringing.

But, while he still had faith, Kevin “more or less stopped going to church sometime around college,” he says.

While Diane had many Catholic friends growing up—and even joined her best friend and her family at Mass—she was not raised in any faith tradition.

So, when the couple started their own family, religion and going to church were not part of the plan. Nor was faith a factor in choosing to send Jack to Roncalli.

Still, Jack thrived at the school, something that his sister noticed.

In middle school, “Jack was kind of quiet and reserved,” says Nora. “At Roncalli, he was branching out, like playing sports, hanging out with people he didn’t used to, volunteering, doing social or service hours.”

Another change started taking place, too. Jack was not just learning about Catholicism in class—he was witnessing how his peers lived out their faith.

“The Roncalli all-school Masses helped me start become interested in becoming Catholic,” says the incoming junior. “I felt like everybody was participating [by receiving Communion], and I wanted to participate like them.”

Nora felt the same way when she started as a freshman at the school last fall.

There to encourage them in their curiosity about the faith was their friend, neighbor and ride to school, Kale Appleby. He is a grade ahead of Jack, a member of St. Jude Parish—and “a godsend,” according to Diane.

“He didn’t judge them, and he always wanted them at Mass,” she says. “He’s an altar boy here [at St. Jude], so they saw a kid that was nice, kind [and] athletic being involved at the church. … He

has just been a godsend to our family, but especially Jack.”

Early in Jack’s sophomore year, when he said “yes” after Kale asked him if he wanted to be baptized, Kale became his sponsor.

He served as Nora’s sponsor, too, when she chose to become Catholic.

‘I felt the Holy Spirit within me’

Nora, now 15, says her own decision to embrace the faith “started with Jack choosing Roncalli. I saw how much the community and the Catholicism at Roncalli were affecting him, and I wanted to be a part of that. As I got into Roncalli, I saw that community of everyone being so centered around God, especially at all-school Masses.”

A youth retreat at St. Jude she attended also made an impact.

“I think that was one of the most amazing nights of my faith journey, ... one of the best moments I’ve felt in my life, really,” she says. “It was so filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Dean, now 13, was influenced by his siblings’ embrace of the faith “and because my dad is Catholic, too.”

As for Diane, she credits Jack for her desire to become Catholic.

“To have a [young teen] switch things up for our family and drive just a complete change of our family is pretty incredible,” she says.

Diane notes that, in the past, the family “had looked at a few Christian churches and gone to a few services, but I think I like the tradition and the community of the Catholic faith.

“And we had so many cheerleaders” once the family started going to Mass at St. Jude,” Diane adds. “It was just crazy, the amount of love that we received from people that I would consider just acquaintances.”

Kevin and Diane, who were married outside the Church, had their marriage convalidated at St. Jude in March—a touching precursor to their 20th wedding anniversary in June.

“It was the Catholic Church taking in our whole family, our marriage, our children,” says Diane. “It was more emotional than I expected.”

There were unexpected emotional moments for Jack and Nora, too, a few weeks later on April 4.

“I kept looking up at Jesus on the cross a lot during the Easter Vigil, giving him praise and glory,” Jack recalls.

Nora says she felt “very full, like, complete. I felt the Holy Spirit within me. That was the first time I’ve actually felt that.”

Diane recalls her long-held belief in service and the role that service played in choosing to send Jack to Roncalli.

“Now I realize it’s not just serving others because it’s right, but doing things for God and with God,” she says. “That’s a change in the whole way that I’ve ever thought.”

Such a life-impacting change—and it all stemmed from one decision.

‘I’m kind of proud of you guys’

What choosing to send Jack to Roncalli “started as, and what it is now, has been a huge change,” says Diane. “Do I love the service [opportunities at the school]? Do I love the community? Absolutely. But I think the reason for it all has kind of shifted for our family.”

That shift applies to Kevin, too.

“The fact that we all came together as a family made me kind of whole again,” he says. His wife’s and children’s embrace of Catholicism “kind of helped us stabilize our family to a degree, like a sense of pride that we were doing it together.”

Kevin says that witnessing “the strength of the community here at St. Jude and St. Jude’s strong sense of, ‘Hey, we’re so happy you’re part of us now,’ has been a huge thing to see. We’re now involved with a larger thing, and I’m happy to see that our family is involved in that.”

He is also impressed by his children’s leadership in learning about and pursuing the faith.

Kevin admits he and Diane “kind of made excuses about not going to church” as they raised their children.

“We knew we had to get our family together somehow, some way,” he says. “It’s a little embarrassing that it took our kids to say, ‘Hey, adults, let’s go to church. Let’s come together.’ ”

He pauses a moment, then shifts his gaze to his children and says, “I’m kind of proud of you guys.” †