Faith and Family / Sean Gallagher

Family members get each other into trouble—and out of it with God’s grace

While I’m daily made aware that I’m no expert in family life, I’ve still learned in my 24 years as a father a few good lessons about its ups and downs through my daily life with Cindy and our five sons.

For example, I know that one or more members of the family can easily get other members into trouble. At the same time, one or more members of the family can usually help in getting those who are in trouble out of it.

Both of these happen pretty frequently in our family. But there was a real doozy that took place recently.

My wife Cindy got back home after picking up our two youngest sons, Philip and Colin, from school.

Then she quickly learned that they were locked out of our house. The door that we usually go in and out of has two locks. We ordinarily use only one. Both were locked when she returned, and she discovered that she was missing the key for the lock that we usually don’t use.

She soon remembered that one of our sons who now lives away from our home had taken that key a while back when he needed it and that he hadn’t gotten it back to us.

She also learned that another of our sons who lives away from our home had come there while she was out getting Philip and Colin, had left and, for whatever reason, had locked both locks.

(We have another door to the house, by the way. But as our house is old and as the other door is as old as the house, we have some difficulties with keys to that lock and have just not addressed it over the years.)

Being locked out didn’t stop Cindy, Philip and Colin, though. Philip is pretty resourceful. He got a ladder and some tools out of our garage, took a window out of Colin’s bedroom, crawled inside and unlocked the proper door. Problem solved.

I’m glad that Philip was there to solve the problem. If I’d been there by myself, I’d have just called someone for help. I’m pretty much the least handy person in our family.

This was just one more tale to add to our family lore, a story that we’ll tell each other years later with a laugh. But it’s a story that can also serve as a reminder of an important lesson of faith.

Being prone to sinfulness and simply making mistakes is an unavoidable part of our broken human condition. It affects every member of a family. No family member is perfect. And the sins and mistakes of one family member have effects on the others.

God’s grace can help us overcome this brokenness. That grace comes to us in a special way every day in family life through the sacrament of marriage. We also receive it in an important way in the sacrament of penance.

But grace also comes to us through the varying gifts and talents that God in his providence gives to each family member, just like he gave my son Philip the talent and confidence to tackle pretty easily on his own being locked out of our home.

In sharing a nutty little story of everyday life in the Gallagher household, I’m trying to illustrate a good lesson for family life. I also realize that in some instances the brokenness of one family member can make life extraordinarily difficult for others.

In these difficult cases, as well as in the simpler ones, God’s grace can also come to those who suffer through the love and care that families can show each other through prayer and emotional or material support.

So, parents and children, open yourselves to God’s grace however it comes to you to help all of you move forward in the pilgrimage of family life that you’re all on together. †