Pediatrician shares advice for women expecting their first child
Dr. Cheryl Ferguson always savors her time with her children, Julianne Ferguson, left, and Caroline Ferguson DeHaro. (Submitted photo)
(The Criterion has invited moms to share the advice they would give to a woman expecting her first child. Here is the last story in this series.)
By John Shaughnessy
In her 26 years as a pediatrician, Dr. Cheryl Ferguson offered advice to many mothers about their children, who ranged from newborns to teenagers.
At the same time, as a mother of two, Ferguson also gained insights about parenting from the women who came to her for their health care.
Those combined perspectives have led the now-retired physician to share the following advice for women expecting their first child, starting with a recommendation that she considers essential to a child’s development.
“Parents with infants need to make eye contact with their infants and talk to them interactively and often,” notes Ferguson, a member of St. Simon the Apostle Parish in Indianapolis. “Children learn communication long before they say their first word.
“It breaks my heart to see parents scrolling on their phones while feeding a baby. Talk to your baby, smile and make faces. You’re stimulating their rapidly developing brain. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screens for children under age 2, with the one exception of occasional FaceTime chats with family or other people.”
As Ferguson continues her advice, she does it from the foundation that every child is a gift from God.
“My best advice is to respect your children as individual children of God with their own needs, ideas and interests,” she notes. “Encourage them to be who God made them to be.
“This may be nothing like either parent, and totally not what you envisioned your children to be. And that’s OK. You may need a different parenting approach for each child, as personalities can be very different.”
Ferguson also stresses the importance of teaching children the gift and the power of acceptance.
“They should learn to accept themselves, friends and their family,” she advises. “Always encourage them to strive to be a better person, but accept who that person truly is in God’s image.”
That quality should also be embraced by parents.
“Accept your kids with their strengths and weaknesses. Love them unconditionally.”
Parents should also remember that children pay close attention to the actions of their mom and dad.
“Kids will learn from your behavior,” she says. “If you want kind, patient children who are polite, teach them by example. Say ‘please,’ ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome’ to each other at home.”
For Ferguson, parenting all comes down to making your children a priority in your life.
“Show up as much as you can,” she advises. “Kids will understand if you have to work or care for elderly parents, but make sure they know it is killing you to have to miss something. You want to be there for them. Go to the games, the recitals, the band concerts, the
art exposition, etcetera. Get to know their friends and their friends’ parents. Be an active part in your children’s lives. Spend time with them.”
Most of all, Ferguson offers this reminder:
“Kids need to hear the words, ‘I love you’ and ‘I am proud of you’ often.” †
